New Year's Resolutions!

I don't know about you but every year I try and make some resolutions for the New Year. Some of them last a week ...some actually last the year! As you think about your own possible resolutions, here are some which gave me a little giggle! Thanks to Deacon Greg Kendra over here for this...slight modifications were made to it for the European readership!

Catholic New Year's Resolutions:
  • I resolve to arrive at Mass early.
  • Before arriving for Mass, I resolve to turn off my mobile phone, or at least put it on “vibrate.”
  • I resolve to go to the bathroom before I leave home, so I don’t have to stand outside the bathroom for most of Mass, hopping from foot to foot.
  • During the warmer months, I resolve not to wear to Mass that tube top that looked so great the night before at the KISS concert.
  • I resolve not to wear shorts to Sunday Mass unless I’m under the age of five.
  • I will refrain from leaving prayers for St. Jude all over the place.
  • I will not feed my children cookies or other food during Mass.
  • I will not leave empty juice cartons in the pews.
  • I resolve not to snore during the homilies.
  • I resolve to sing. Loudly.
  • When the collection guy comes by with the collection basket, I will not put in a five euro bill and take out four ones.
  • I resolve to actually shake hands with those around me during the Sign of Peace, and really mean it.
  • I will not butt in front of others when I get in line for communion.
  • When someone butts in front of me to get in line for communion, I will not trip him and then laugh.
  • When the lector announces that there is no second collection, I resolve not to cheer, applaud or make “the wave.”
  • I will not bolt for the door after the announcements.
  • I will stay in my pew to sing the recessional hymn.
  • I resolve to place my missal and hymn book at the end of the pew before I leave, to make less work for the ushers. A tidy church is a happy church.
  • When I am in my car, waiting to get out of the parking lot after Mass, I resolve to use all five fingers when I wave at my fellow parishioners. And I will smile at them.

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